Monday, July 25, 2016

Raising a Teenager Son

I am no expert in parenting; in fact, I am as lost as you are. So, perhaps you may wonder, why are you actually wasting your time reading this; I guess sharing a tip or two will be enough, so, as not to drive your insanity away as you raise your own kid.

my 14-year old kid who has grown taller in a snap.

I have a 14 years old boy but what I quite adore and sometimes would want him strangled (oops!) are the things that make adolescents cool but can be a reason for anxiety.

On discipline:

Glad that I am that we raised our kid who didnt throw tantrums at all when he was younger. I think having a firm say on some things can be quite good especially if your kids would know that they can hold you hostage with all those sobbings. My kid had learned that regardless of how loud he could cry, he wont get what he wants when we, his parents, would say no. And, now that he is older, I seem to appreciate how we raised him that way as I see other parents struggle when their kids throw tantrums.

On emotional maturity:

My siblings and I were never showy with affection  as our parents weren't that expressive as well to us. But, I am glad that my husband and his family shared a more open warmth and care to their loved ones that I envied them and wished that I could have my kid grow that way.

So, we make it habit to say how we feel and demonstrate this to our loved ones. So, my kid grew up hearing "I Love You" as often as possible.

Being honest to the kid may have its drawback. When my husband and I were having marital issues, we never showed these to our son, but somehow the physical tension was evident to our kid that when I asked him how his thoughts are on divorce / separation / death, he is quite open and mature.  I guess education from school, and how his classmates' own family profile made him more perceptive about family's dysfunctionalities.

my kiddo on his 1st triathlon
On peers and hobbies:

Gone are the days when your kid would cry knowing that you are off to work or would want to be by your sides at all times. These days, my son would rather spend more time at home with his gadgets, or would rather go out with his peers. Well, of course, if we drag him to join us to go out, then, he has no choice at all ( hmnnn, talking about good parenting eh).

Good thing though that we share a passion for sports - running, biking, swimming among others that these become our playtime.

Teenagers may be hard to understand, but, I guess with openness and guidance from the wise ones (say your elders and parents with older children), I think we can just do well.

We never really know how we fare as parents, so, we will just have to wait until we see our own kids in better life, happy and grateful for his family and for other non - material things.